Michele W Weinstein
Content
Michele W Weinstein’s dialog : with her died father to face the fear of death.
Damascus P.A ———————–
“These facts below I discovered 2012 -from my Father’s W.W.11 medical discharge papers from the U.S. army.”
This is not an excuse .It is just pure facts my father told the doctors that were caring for his mental disability when discharged from the army.
My father’s “control, power and love ” got twisted up in Germany with the Hitler youth camp.
My father at the age of 11 joined the youth camp to have fun with the powerful selective children living in Berlin. My father enjoyed the control they had until they found out he was a Jew. That traumatic experience of abuse from the Hitler youth boys and a molestation from an adult female started his mental disorder..”
The next conversation comes from my mind. It is what I believe my father is telling me as if he is alive. I use this role play and write it with positive healing words for me to believe it is the gospel.
“My dear daughter and grandson I am not alive any more . All I am now is a memory in both of your minds. I have kept connected to your minds as I am in your shadow’s. Please forgive me . You did not inherit my disorder. You found out why I was so sick with the papers you just described. It is not an excuse I make as the plea. All I can tell you is that I am proud of both of you now .I am also proud of your brother. He is doing a great job caring for your mother and you. I have watched all of you go through many tornados of abuse, abandonment, heartache, pain, anger, frustration, discontent of emotions. You are free and on your path . You did the work and spent the time to learn how to do it your way. I will always be with you as part of all the good you are doing to be the best you can be. Yes!, you do win the lottery ,each day you wake up and breath. I see only through
your eyes now . I see the abundance of color you see living in the ‘Light ”
Tell the rest of your story so others can learn how-to free themselves from fear”.
I forgave my father a long time ago and now I have given myself permission to forgive myself for all the bad choices I made in my lifetime.
The thought process of writing my journals took me to a place inside my soul to understand I made excuses to justify all my poor choices I made in my lifetime . It was easier to be the child victim and not take responsibility as an adult. It was a power play I made to control situations that I had no control over. The only one in this world I have the right to control is myself. Everyone else is in control of their own destiny.
The word “Love ” for me became my energy healing medicine to cleanse all the old wounds from my broken heart.
I realized there are levels of wisdom and everyone learns their own comfortable way if they enjoy peace.
Accountability is healing energy for me. Art energy focuses my mind on the present :
I rebuilt my productive life by Creating the Character”Grandma Michele the Story Teller and Listener.
My first fictional story book “Grandma Michele the story-teller and listener” I self published Sept 18,2010
My second fictional story book “Conception to Birth ” I self published June 18,2015.
My existence is my experiences while I am living inside the body of Michele W.Weinstein/ Michele Schuchman / alk Grandma Michele
March 2016 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I choice alternative holistic, medicine , spiritual transformation rather than breast surgery followed by radiation & or chemotherapy.
That didn’t work for my physical body and my two tumors grow into one large tumor by 2017 . May 16/2017 I had a mastectomy and 19 lymph nodes removed . During that surgery I opt for reconstruction that went bad and left me disfigured after 4 more surgeries . My last emergency surgery was 1/16/2018 where all the hardware was removed from my left breast. The physical and mental pain from the side effects were overwhelming to my imfmune system . A full body PET scan 8/21/2018 results I had stage 4 cancer in my breasts and in many places in my bones. I was still living and would continue to live the best life until the blessing of death.
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