My beliefs of my personal stage 4 cancer journey has nothing to do with others, or does it?
The following story became my memoirs:
I was told by my new oncologist with my son at my side “there was no cure for my stage 4 cancer. You can have treatment with oral chemo medications,and a shot in your arm once a month. You will be tested to see results as you let me know how you are feeling during your treatments.”
The Wayne County Hospital network was able to get me free medication for a year while my doctor reported the effects on my physical body.
At first I was excited with the word “Free ” I was already drained from medical bills and charities that I had supported. For some reason,I thought by giving,I would feel satisfied.
That was a perception of feeding my ego. My ego was filling itself up with hot air, only to explode by repeating the same thing.
It took time to understand that nothing was “Free” and there was always a price. I would be another experiment for the manufacturer of these drugs.
I was my own experiment of my creative imagination and that was enough for me.
I said ” no thank you” for anymore treatments to my oncologist.
It felt good to be free from medical experiments.
I was staying emotionally strong through the winter months by driving my 2019 Subaru orange Cross trek through all the storms with my son next to me.
I was having fun playing my character”Grandma Michele” from Planet Zatar.
The orange Subaru was a manifestation from my first fiction book “Grandma Michele the story teller and listener”.
In the book,I was conceived on the orange quadrant of planet Zatar.
Orange signified the color of the solar plexus of the Chakras. It was a flow of energy from my creative imagination. I was using my imagination to create a perfect fit for being human.
My imaginary pieces were fitting into the picture I had created for my joy.
It was not about anyone else,it was all ways about me and how I observed myself.
The mother role was the power of “Love”
My son’s power role was similar to mine but not exactly my beliefs of healing.
My son,consistently would tell me,that CBD oil would heal my cancer and I should invest in that belief.
I like many thought it would alter my perception like any mind altering drugs or alcohol.
Taking the CBD oil focused what mattered for my well being.
I started taking CBD oil 10/20/2018 twice a day as directed from www. firstname.lastname@example.org and felt it was supporting my clarity.
I live in the present and that brings me joy.