“Live until I Die”

My  radiation oncologist Bruce W.Phillips,MD,FACRO explained the results of the full body PET Scan I took 8/21/2018. ” Michele, I am sorry to tell you that the cancer has Metastasize to  your bones to stage 4 cancer.

( At  that moment, an explosion ignited.

Within every cell of my being a regression memory surfaced for me to view as the observer .

Memory : All the elements used to form my present identity were conceived from the explosion  of the first Sun’s energy,the source of perpetual motion.( Before Earth’s present Sun ) .

Understanding the complexity of webs now woven from words were like a poison to trap me into “Fear ” ” What was I hearing ? It was words taking form to spin me around with gravitational pulls from all I had absorbed from my conception.  I had no pain. I was  exhausted because my energy fuel tank keeping me alive was depleted with warning signs “empty “( out of gas). My physical and mental being had enough. I was ready to let go of control and take the plunge to whatever happens  was for my benefit.

Bruce said ” you can have chemo,hormonal chemo therapy medication, radiation that might extend you life”. I said No !Why would I inflect more pain to my immune system? There was no logic to spending whatever time in doctors offices testing the physical body for reaction to medication prescribe. Humanity will survive as long as there is a source of energy. My personal wealth has funded research for cures of family,friends and strangers as their physical and mental reality.

My reserves are obvious to the observer.

Dissociation is classified as a disorder when it takes the cognitive train of thought off to outer-space. I am happy to say that I manage the dissociation with ease. It might be too complex to absorb unless you dissociated when it was needed  for your existence.

The disorders I was coded with were my greatest gifts. It was the opposite spectrum than what was considered normal.

Back to story of the day (8/23/2018

Cindy S.Collins,PHd,RD, LD/ N Health Psychology and Medical Nutrition at SFRO ( South Florida Radiation Oncology was standing at the nurses station when I came out of the examining room. I told her the results. She was shocked. Cindy and I had a few private sessions and she  understood my belief in God and my journey of helping others until I die.

The reflection of me is not a Marta, by no means ,or an angel inside human flesh. I am just  as vulnerable as any human faced with “Death”.  I sate in the waiting room and sent messages to my love ones. A waterfall of tears were running from my eyes as I texted  on my I phone.

My next doctor appointment was a 3 pm with my Primary Doctor to repeat what was already told to me.

I was looking forward to the night of an Evening of Luxury and a night full of surprises at the Residence Mandarin Oriental Boca Raton . I had called Jennifer Fountain my personal agent from the  AM Skier agency to activate my out of vault insurance for one day out of vault blank jewelry coverage. Henry Skier owner of AM Skier has been a personal friend for about 30 years. He knew all about me and my family. Henry Skier was impressed with my non-profit for military women  returning from active duty at my home for a two-week stay of transition, volunteer work as an entertainer in children’s hospitals,VA senior living centers and homeless people in Fort Lauderdale F.L. as a volunteer since 2010 for http://www.Lovethyneighbor.org to give back my time by listening  without judgement. I created an identity of a super hero “Grandma Michele” the story-teller and listener from planet Zatar from my creative imagination for immortality.

The two fiction books created an illusion to be a buffalo, Not a cow. The buffalo’s survival instincts to go full force into the on coming storm allows the full force of energy to pass quickly through its cells and recovery is the reward with rest. The cow runs with the storm for an endless physical and mental pain. The reward waiting at the end of both identities are a story of self-reflection.


The only reason I was invited to An Evening of Luxury was because the week before I met with Marie Mangouta a sales agent assigned to me. I told Marie I could make no plans until I knew the results of my PET scan. Marie asked me the names of my doctors.

Marie said “Your breast surgeon has been a personal friend of mine  for over 10 years.”

Dr Andrew Ress ( Liv plastic surgery started the reconstruction after the mastectomy  of my left breast and the removal of 19 lymph nodes. At that time the results were stage 2 active cancer cells.

1/16/2018 :  all the hardware from the reconstruction needed to be removed at an emergency surgery by D. Andrew Ress before the infection traveled through my blood stream for an explosive take-over causing death.

Two days before 1/16/2918 my biological son Bobby was admitted to Swedish Medical in Denver CO. for emergency surgery for an infection in his ankle. Six weeks later my son was told he will never walk again without either a wheelchair, walker, crushes, or Cain. depending on how he managed the pain with medication’s.

Back to 8/23/2018 Marie Mangouta regional director of sales  Residences at Mandarin Oriental Boca Raton  said ” I will send you an invitation to next Thursday’s Lamborghini event for a night of luxury. The event would be similar to the event you attended wearing a green wig for celebrating St Patrick’s day March of 2017.

The present was a present, as my mirror reflection from the past, present, future energy source of “Light” to thrive on “Love”! a word vibrating energy  for celebration of what matter’s to self from my heart and Not my mind.

My DNA three generations back as told to me from the Weinstein biological cells were a story about my grandmother,grandfather and father the lucky Jews that excepted the gas chambers in Berlin Germany. My Grandmother converted all their cash into jewelry ,art, silver, etc and was able to bring her wealth to America in 1939.

Inheritance is in my trust. My death arrangements were paid for in full and I leave this body debt free. That didn’t mean I was going to die sooner than later. It meant I was responsible to leave a legacy entrusted to carry out my wishes after my death.

Back to 8/23/2018 :

My mind was a time machine returning to the present from the future and back to the past.

Future? Did I get your attention? Yes I said the future and you as many might think I am insane write that word “Future ”

In a book ,I will someday publish, I will have the evidence of reliable professional credible individuals that will testify to the validity of my book.

( time : 2:45 pm )  waiting to be examined by my primary doctor Ambika Sureshkumar at Metcare Boca Raton .

God( My belief) had provided the best primary doctor for me because of her culture as a Hindu. Her wisdom of the journey crossing the bridge and reincarnation were  my beliefs at that moment in time. (My beliefs adjust to the present mirrored reflection of the environment.)

Back to 8/23/2018:

As my doctor, she advised me to get chemo, radiation or chemo hormonal therapy. I said “No thank you” She advised me to just have medicare and no other insurance because I was not interested in any medical treatments for the cancer . She also said that Hospice would be good for me when I return to Damascus PA . I thanked her and her staff for all their love and kindness during my visits to their office.I needed to play “Grandma Michele ” for excitement and fun.

Back to 8/23/2018 :

There was just enough time to drive home to my Mom’s home in Boca Raton and get dressed to impress others at the luxury event.

I was a powerful Queen treated as royalty upon my arrival at the residences sales gallery.

Straight to the bar for a vodka cocktail in a crystal stemmed glass to unleashed a spider web invisible to other’s.

I took the mildest vodka cocktail offered, but it was more than my body could absorb at that moment. The excellent food served by the cast was  dedicated for a 6 star identity.      “Free” had a price tag. How much did the gold cost? It didn’t matter . Gold was not the fuel I needed for nutrition. People’s stories were my nutrition at that time.

Back to 8/23/2018 :

Nancy Cubero was  the Chanel make up artist, giving  me a new face. I needed it. Under my red glasses were dark shadow from the crying earlier. I was the last one to leave, navigating the next coordinates for a stop before midnight.

George Trimmings 111  born 0709/?   took professional photos of my new face that night.

I had made a promise to a man who worked at Boca Blue Martini the night before and I needed to keep my promise.

In the past I made promises to my son Bobby.other family members, friends and strangers for my  best intentions. My justification of why I broke my promise was an instinctive animal survival association from the reptilian brain still connected at the base of my evolved brain.

Back to 8/23/2018 11:00 pm :

The vodka was clearly not good for my navigation of my clarity.  The security guard at Boca Blue Martini  called a taxi for me to get home safely. I was not capable to drive myself home.

I went to sleep at midnight and woke up at 3 am with an enormous amount of  energy fueling all my cells to exist.

My brother drove me in the morning back to Boca Blue Martini to get my mom’s car and drive back to my Mom’s home in Boca Gardens.

About Michele Wendy Weinstein / Schuchman /aka Grandma Michele

View Website www.Self3.com for Profile of Michele Wendy Weinstein/Schuchman/aka Grandma Michele and take time to be entertained with the Michele W.Weinstein's video legacy
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to “Live until I Die”

  1. NYYgirl says:

    Dear Michele,
    I met you at High Holy days in PA a couple of years ago- maybe more. You were very kind to me and my two sweet daughters who were up in the balcony with me. I saw Henry’s email with this link to your site and followed it. I wish you everything peaceful and beautiful as you continue on through this next phase of your life. It sounds like you have an incredible support network. Hugs.


  2. Hedy Kunstmann says:

    Michele: can’t tell you how much I admire your courage and positive attitude. I think of you every time I pass your driveway, which is a few times a week. Happy Trails!

    Fondly, Hedy


  3. Sharon Kittner says:

    Dear Michele ~ aka POLLYANNA here smiling as I read your post. Not smiling because of your medical diagnosis received… but because of your spirit and Love of Life. My thoughts and prayers remain with you throughout the rest of your WONDERFUL days on earth and your Glorious Departure in the future! Hugs.


  4. Smile today and everyday you breath and feel nature. Love everything and everything will love you


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.